By Hannah Jackson
Author of Make Any Man Love You
“Now you’ve disappeared somewhere, like outer space
You’ve found some better place
And I miss you
Like the deserts miss the rain”
– “Missing” by Everything but the Girl
One of the biggest challenges for a woman in a relationship is dealing with her guy’s knack for being withdrawn or unavailable.
She might notice her man drifting away. He seems to be too caught up in his own stuff and doesn’t pursue her as much as before.
If you’ve been in this situation in the past, you know how scary this is.
It’s a terrible feeling of dread that washes over you – and it seems like you’re losing control.
You can feel him distancing himself from you, but you can’t do anything to stop him.
You want things to go back to the way they were, when he was warm, caring and affectionate.
Maybe you’re wondering, “What am I, chopped liver? What happened to the guy who couldn’t stop showering me with calls, texts, kisses and sweet little nothings?”
He seems to be so occupied with everything else in his life but YOU.
Worst of all, he seems to be perfectly fine without you.
You want to do something – anything – to make those horrible feelings inside you go away.
But it seems like the more you try to pull him closer to you, the more he wants to slip away.
All of this is making you anxious and a little paranoid. You start to watch his every move like a hawk and overanalyze everything he says.
“What did he mean that?” you wonder, wide awake at night.
Or you might think to yourself, “He didn’t even add a smiley at the end of his message… why is he so cold all of a sudden??”
What NOT to do (a.k.a. Don’t Make the Problem Worse)
So you go into crisis mode and pull out all the stops in an effort to win him back.
“I’ll show him,” you think, “he’ll get so much love and attention that he won’t know what hit him!”
Then you start smothering him like crazy. You bombard him with sweet messages and call him up throughout the day, make him his favorite meals…
…drop his office to drop off a snack, try to mix things up in the bedroom…
… ask him how his day was, and just about everything you can think of.
To your surprise, however, he’s even MORE withdrawn than before.
It feels like the bigger your effort, the LESS he wants to reciprocate.
And this is the thing about men – when they’re the ones being pursued, it doesn’t feel right to them.
As a man, it’s his job to initiate this kind of stuff in the relationship to fulfill his masculine role.
But you’re thinking, “Well, how else am I going to get him off his butt if I don’t do something about it?”
There’s the rub: men don’t respond to this kind of approach.
The best way to make him ache for you like he used to is turning back the dial a little bit – NOT more.
If you crank up the affection to 11 when he’s in this uncooperative state, he’s going to want to retreat instead.
Trust me, you’re going to wear yourself out trying to get him to come around. And when you’re exhausted and ticked off, that makes a guy want to pull away further.
I know this is frustrating to hear, but there IS hope.
By playing your cards differently, you can flip the script on him. He’ll miss you with such an intensity that he’ll realize what an idiot he was for taking you for granted like that.
But before you start hatching a plan to win his heart back, there’s something you need to know first.
Learn how to create a deep emotional attachment with your man – Click Here
The Nuts and Bolts of Romance
From a scientific perspective, certain elements play a part in making him miss you.
Neurotransmitters called serotonin and dopamine are chemicals that swirl around in someone’s brain when they’re in love. Oxytocin, also called the “love hormone,” gets into the mix as well.
All of these combine into a heady, feel-good concoction that kicks in when they’re around their romantic partner.
This is nature’s way of encouraging humans to pair bond and further the species.
And this is also why being in your partner’s presence is so intoxicating.
When you’re around that special someone, your body releases these chemicals, putting you in that warm, fuzzy state of bliss.
Over time, you become accustomed to getting your “fix.”
But what if that person went away for some reason?
The production of love chemicals would come to a screeching halt. Suddenly, all those familiar feelings associated with a significant other aren’t there anymore.
And when they’re gone, you’ll go through a period of withdrawal.
So if you want your guy to feel the pain of your absence, you’ll need to create this effect on him.
Only then will he start craving you again and chase after you like before.
Here are some simple but super effective ways to do it:
#1: Ease Up on the Social Media
Ok, so the basic idea is to get off his radar for a bit so he’ll start wondering what you’re up to.
A subtle way of doing this is scaling back your online presence. That means not posting status updates every hour of the day and don’t put up photos of every single thing you’re doing.
Also, resist the urge to connect with your guy on social media. Don’t look at his timeline, photo albums or anything else he posts.
Try not to tag him in things in an attempt to catch his eye, or post pictures of yourself with other guys. And don’t send him a private message or post a comment on his updates, either.
Relationship or not, guys don’t like the feeling of being cyberstalked. He’ll see right through these little passive-aggressive games and tune you out even more.
And while you’re at it, practice a good amount of radio silence in general, too. Go dark for a while and don’t text, email or call him.
Remember, guys don’t respond to needy behavior – they respond to no contact.
#2: Don’t Jump the Gun
At some point, he might try reaching out to you. If he calls, don’t pick up and let him leave a voicemail instead.
Then return his call, saying you were in the middle of something when he rang you. It could be something along the lines of, “Hey sorry I missed your call. I was brushing my cat, and he was being stubborn about it. Anyway, what’s up?”
(Pro tip: it’s better if you were actually busy so that it comes across as genuine – more on that later.)
In case he sends you a message, don’t read it yet. Wait about half an hour before opening, so it doesn’t show up as “seen.”
And when you do open it, don’t type a response – otherwise, he’ll see those three little dots which tell him you’re writing something.
Doing these will establish in his mind that you’re not sitting your phone all day, waiting for him to call. And it will tell him that you’re not available at the drop of a hat.
Learn how to create a deep emotional attachment with your man – Click Here
#3: Work His Senses
As you’re withdrawing a bit and he starts to feel your absence, here’s another step to raise the stakes.
Find something he can anchor his mind to, like a particular dress or shirt you used to wear when you started going out, or a certain perfume you haven’t used in a while.
Bring these out when you see him again. These powerful catalysts will knock something loose in his head and take him down memory lane.
Not only that, you’ll give him powerful sensory cues to remember you by. Soon enough, he’ll start craving you when he thinks about your signature scent.
In the movie “Down to You,” Al, the male lead character, broke up with his girlfriend Imogen.
He missed her so much that he couldn’t get the smell of Imogen’s shampoo out of his head. In his misery, Al tried to drink a whole bottle of it.
He turned out ok, but people asked him why he did it. He said, “I thought if I was immune to the shampoo, then I could get over her.”
#4: Put the Focus Back on YOU
I know this is a bit of worn-out advice, but there’s a good reason why.
By pulling back on the time and attention, and directing that towards yourself…
… you’re instantly increasing your value as a person.
This will make your guy remember your worth as a partner, and how you add value to his life.
A lot of women fall into the trap of putting every bit of themselves into the relationship. And when they don’t leave anything for themselves, they stop growing as an individual.
Their partner will notice this and think, “Hey, what happened to the fun-loving girl I met? Why is she all ‘about taking care of the relationship’ and asking me where we’re headed?”
It can get to a level where a woman develops a sort of tunnel vision. She becomes so single-minded in making things work with her guy that she ends up turning the relationship into a chore.
Doing this will change you, and you won’t even know it – but your man will.
To avoid this scenario, it’s really crucial that you remember to recharge your batteries. Get your energy, happiness, and fulfillment from other sources aside from your man.
Do the things that you used to love doing.
Reconnect with friends, take on a personal project and kick butt at your career.
Pay attention to your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Listen to your own needs and respond to them appropriately.
This way, it takes the pressure off your relationship.
You’ll be refreshed and revitalized – plus, all that needy, desperate energy will go away.
When he sees you being all those things that make you, YOU…
… he’ll realize what he’s been missing out on.
This will make those withdrawal pangs even stronger. It will get so intense that he can’t ignore it anymore and do something about it.
Then watch as he brings his level of effort back to where it was before.
One thing I discovered about guys is that they have a bit of a complex when it comes to love and attraction.
For reasons beyond me, a lot of men need to feel the FEAR of losing their woman. For them, it’s the only way can genuinely tell themselves that they’re in love.
If anything, this is one of those “You don’t know how good you’ve got it ‘til it’s gone” situations.
And if he needs a little fear to motivate him, then so be it.
By the way, there’s ONE more trick that won’t just make him miss you…
… but also make him DEEPLY ATTACHED to you.
I’ve talked to thousands of women, and I’ve noticed a familiar pattern in a good handful of them.
For some reason, these special ladies seem to have NO problem keeping their guy interested and utterly devoted to them. Their men find it almost physically painful being away from the love of their life.
This is what I came to learn about them: they’re the kind of woman that their man would miss in the first place.
There was something about these fantastic women that sent a signal to their lovestruck partners.
And if you send the same signal to your man, it will tell him that you are, in fact, his SOULMATE.
Follow the steps on the next page to get started:
Get the Simple 5-Step Sequence To Make Him Feel Deep Emotional Attachment Towards You – CLICK HERE
