It would be nice if all relationships progressed in a straight line from “Love at first sight” through to “Happily ever after”, but real life doesn’t tend to go that way. Relationships break up for a number of reasons, some that we can directly manipulate, and some that are completely beyond our control.
From time to time we all think about the good old days with an ex-boyfriend, and how things could have turned out differently. In some situations, with a really great guy, it’s actually worth not just thinking about it, and actually getting out and doing something positive to make it happen.
First things first, if he is in a relationship let him be. If you go trying to sabotage his relationship you are just going to make yourself look selfish and manipulative. Guys don’t go for that at all, and it’s not a good start to a relationship. But if he is free then the following tips will surely help you to re-establish contact and win him back.
To begin with – don’t rush in. Take a little time to access what went wrong with the relationship the first time and what you need to do to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Be honest with yourself over what traits you have that you think he didn’t enjoy in the relationship. If they are things you are prepared to change then put a decent plan into place to modify them. Then let the new traits show through. You don’t need to ring him and tell him how you have reconstructed your personality – let your actions do the talking.
Again – don’t rush in. Take a little bit of personal time and get comfortable with yourself again. Be self-assured and it will shine through in everything that you do. Confidence and positivity are attractions. Be positive and tell yourself that you are worthy of him. Don’t be thinking about landing your dream guy – flip that around – you are the dream girl and you are nice enough to be giving HIM a second chance with YOU.
Now part of this is to be looking your best so you feel great about yourself. When you are in the right mind space, it’s time to re-establish contact with him. Depending on the types of places you went together there are two ways of doing this.
The first method is the ‘accidental meeting’. You should know enough about him to know the sorts of places that he is likely to be. If he always gets coffee at the same cart it’s quite easy to ‘accidentally’ bump into him and have a quick private chat. If you know a bar he goes to regularly you might like to meet a group of friends there for a drink. In either case, you will just have a quick, superficial chat. Check how he is doing, and ask him if he’d like to do something non-committal. The more mutual friends you have the easier this is going to be. The trick is to not make a huge thing of it, re-establish contact, and lay the groundwork for a future meeting.
The other method is the deliberate method. Drop him a text message or email letting him know that ‘something’ reminded you of him the other day. If you have a particularly happy memory together you can probably use that: “I was in that park the other day – remember the one we had that picnic in? Anyway, it just reminded me of you and I wondered what you’ve been up to?” Again, keep it casual and light, but make sure there is a question that he can answer there somewhere.
Once you have used either of these methods you will hopefully have re-established contact with your man, and from there you can go on to make that contact more and more personal until the point somewhere in the future where you are a couple again.
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