Here’s a good lesson on “emotional texting” from my buddy Rob Judge….
I think it clarifies this idea brilliantly below…
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As someone who’s done every permutation of men’s dating coaching–from in-person to phone to email and Skype–I can confidently say that one of the biggest areas of confusion is the concept of “sparking emotions.” Guys usually mistake this concept for its extremes. They become overly goofy, dramatic, bizarre, or even gushy.
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I understand why this is so confusing. As men, we’re not “genetically programmed” to fully understand how to communicate in emotions. Just like none of us are running out to catch the latest Twilight movies or catching up on the latest celebrity gossip, we also don’t necessarily feel a need to communicate with much emotion.
In a way, it’s like learning how to write with the opposite hand. It feels unnatural, weird, and sloppy. Though, if you truly want to master male-to-female communication, learning to communicate emotionally is one of the most important skills you need to hone.
Lucky for all your manly men out there, I have some good news: communicating emotionally is much more “masculine” than you realize. That’s because “emotional communication” is intended to get a woman feeling feminine.
“Feeling feminine.” Consider that phrase. To get a girl to feel feminine, you don’t act feminine. No, you act masculine.
Unfortunately, most guys don’t understand how to act masculine, so they don’t understand how to communicate emotionally. And thus, most guys suck at communicating with women.
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Whether it’s telling a woman that you had a “cup of coffee brewed the hand of God” or that you saw a creepy old man on a scooter, you’re always making statements rather than asking questions.
The statement is a perfect example of masculine communication because it’s assertive, confident, and “dominates” a conversation. It causes a woman to consider the statement, react, and usually ask a question (all “feminine” responses).
One of the easiest and most effective to wordless evoke her emotions is using the element of surprise. As Boband I point out in Magnetic Messaging, “patterns” are often fatal to keeping the spark alive in relationships. If you and a woman fall into a very predictable pattern then she’ll likely stop feeling the emotions that made her attracted to you in the first place.
Therefore, you absolutely want to avoid patterns! Even if it’s a girl you’re not dating, sometimes doing something “out of character” is the right move. For example, I was recently coaching a guy who was dealing with a “flake.”
This guy was obsessed with trying to elicit this girl’s emotions using crafty text messages. Now, while there’s nothing wrong with that, he could do much more “heavy lifting” simply using the element of surprise to his advantage. (And no, I’m not advocating “surprising” a woman jumping out of a closet wearing a ski mask!)
Sometimes “surprising” her can be as simple as going “radio silent” on her for a few weeks and then texting her out of the blue as if nothing happened. Think about yourself: you probably have a few people whom you text with every few days.
Now imagine if one of those people suddenly went AWOL. At first, you probably wouldn’t notice. But after a week or two, likely you’d start to wonder: are they okay? Did I do something to offend them? What happened? Then, when they suddenly text you…BAM! It ignites your emotions!
With women, the end result is magnified. Even if a girl isn’t giving you a response, sometimes going “silent” is what you need to do to “re-charge” her emotions. Moreover, sometimes not answering a text message of hers packs more of an emotional punch than anything you could possibly write.
Don’t be like the guys who just go for the “easy way” or the “quick fix.” Sometimes creating emotion in a woman takes a bit of creativity and “outside the box” thinking. While using words is the most obvious way to spark an emotion, it’s still only one way. There is a wealth of other ways at your manly disposal to get her feeling “feminine.”
Another “classic” phone game trick is the old “dropped call” cliffhanger. The concept behind this little ninja tactic is to
pretend to drop a call right as you’re telling a woman a story or she’s interested in something you’re saying. Now, this “tactic” can come across as very transparent and try-hard if not applied correctly, so use caution.
Yet, the reasoning behind it is sound. You tickle a woman’s emotions and, right as you’re about to give her a “release,” you cut the call short. For those who don’t want to “pretend” to drop a call, you can simply say, “Hey, something just came up…gotta run” and then quickly hang up the phone. Regardless of how you do it, abruptly ending a phone conversation or text interaction is another great way to evoke an emotional response in a woman.
As I said, use a little creative thinking to devise your own ways to get a woman feeling feminine and emotional. Indeed, the “tactics” you come up with on your own will probably work the best, since they’re more congruent with your style and personality.
Ultimately, use the examples in this report to further your understanding of emotional communication. Also, you may want to reread some of the “key-lock” examples in Magnetic Messaging. With your expanded understanding of emotional communication, you will probably see more than you did in the first reading.
Until then, keep it emotional. Keep it masculine. And keep her feeling feminine!
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